Monday, July 19, 2010

I Like Turtles

We have had so many turtles at the campground this year. I'm not sure what that is about, but it's been fun watching them move around and share living space with us.

Tonight, as I was cropping pictures, I came across some shots that Nathan took of some turtles. Which made me think of Austin. For two reasons. The first being that he is in Virginia with Daryl and Diana for a visit. He is my baby and the only child I have left living in our household, so I wasn't fond of him going away. Lauren just had surgery though, so I thought it would be a kind thing if he went to keep his cousin who is in a cast company.



Before he left, I told him not to ask me if he could stay there for anything longer than a two or three week long visit. Because it rips my heart out to even think of giving up any of the little bit of time I have left with him up. I said it clear terms that if he called and asked me, I'd be tempted to bring home sooner rather than later. And then I said, I mean it. So he'd know of course that I really did mean it. I wasn't just tossing out empty, meaningless threats.



So today, he called Nathan to tell him he wanted to stay longer and why. Ok, so he didn't call me which is what I had so clearly laid out. What he did do was to try and go around Mom though. Because he knows Dad isn't quite as sad about the last one leaving home as Mom. Dad would probably be ok with him staying longer.



So Dad tells me, just to let you know...this is what Austin called about. At which point I got angry and sad all at the same time. Since I cry when I'm angry and I cry when I'm sad, I just took care of both at once and cried twice as hard.



The main reason the turtle picture is making me think of Austin though is because a few years ago he fell in love with a video where a young kid is being interviewed by a reporter and he randomly says, I like turtles. Austin played this video over and over and over and over and over again. I think he even made it his voice mail message on his phone. It didn't hurt any that he likes turtles himself.



Somehow the two things are related, but I'm not sure why because I'm crying again over missing my youngest boy. Oh yeah, they are related because I can't look at turtles now without Austin's voice running through my head and I can't see turtles without thinking of Austin. So this picture made me think of Austin. And now I'm missing him.



So in honor of the turtle loving guy I thought I'd send him this message:



Dear Austin,



Mom just wants you to know I miss you so much already. And don't call Dad again about trying to stay longer or Mom will have to come up and bring you home the next day.



Much Love,

Mom

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